Sunday, February 27, 2011


I just had my period. And I really am not happy every time it visits. So, let me share to you an edited post.

Sometimes I really hate my girly parts.
And if you’re a girl (or if you, at least, have had the misfortune of living with a bunch of girls) you’ll understand what I mean when I say that sometimes I just want to rip my uterus out and declare myself asexual. 

That time of the month is coming. How do I know? Because I want to eat every single piece of sweets my eyes graze upon. I want to finish every bottle of soda I can find. Then my pants get a little tight and I feel a bit enthusiastic for gaining weight, or so I thought. Then I desire to strangle people for the dumbest of reasons. Then I become mortified with myself. Then I start feeling irritated and a little lonely (which is not very obvious because I really try very hard to keep it).

I am a very jolly person. You can seldom see me frowning. You can ask mt friends for confirmation. But it doesn't mean I don't have problems at all, because if you ask me, I also have my own burdens that I just refuse to show.

So when that hellhole known as PMS hits, all the misery I have carefully avoided suddenly weighs down on my heart and I start to get irrationally emotional over the smallest things. Then I just feel like punching people in the face. But I don’t, so I try to write all my repressed sadness instead.

The reality is: sadness is a good thing.
One: it gives you character. People with sad stories to tell have depth and insight. They’ve actually touched the rawest form of human emotion. And as unfortunate as their circumstances are (or were), you can’t help but admire them.  Someone who is hurting is actually snuggling closely to the core and center of what it is to be alive. About heartbreak, Elizabeth Gilbert wrote: “It means you have tried for something.” Sad and hurt people have not been cushioned by comfort. That’s exactly what makes them interesting. Sadness is also inevitable. Some scientists actually consider it a biological function. According to one Time magazine article:
"These sadness responses suggest sorrow is genetic and that it is useful for attracting social support, protecting us from aggressors and teaching us that whatever prompted the sadness–say, getting fired because you were always late to work–is behavior to be avoided. This is a brutal economic approach to the mind, but it makes sense: we are sometimes meant to suffer emotional pain so that we will make better choices." ~(Source: TIME)
The one thing that defines life is that it will surprise you. Plans will go awry. You will fail. People will leave. One some days you’ll wake up and the world will not sing you a melody. It will, in fact, go spit in your face.

Go follow your DNA and mourn.
Be bitter. Write a damn sonnet about why the love of your life left you for someone half your IQ. Because one thing I noticed is that sad people get creative. Some of the best writers I know come up with amazing pieces only under the duress of heartache. Similarly, some of the best things I’ve ever written were catalyzed by sadness. The same goes for musicians and painters, photographers, travelers, the poets and the pastry makers. Sadness seems to trigger a nerve to do something beautiful that we just would’ve never noticed otherwise. And the irony is that in the middle of all this, we find peace. I’ve realized that when you let yourself be sad, you also let yourself heal.

I guess we’ve all got to let ourselves feel. The falling apart is a key element in rebuilding. It’s one of those crazy paradoxes of life. Some people ignore their feelings completely, feigning euphoria instead. And it seems like an admirable effort at first, the fake-it-till-you-make-it technique, but it’s really just another way of masking reality with delusion.
You’ve got to go through the motions. And afterwards, once you’ve exhausted your sadness, you’ve got to decide to be strong.
"So every sadness is part of a connection to others; sadness is a part of love. Expression of sadness mobilizes support systems, and maybe is an evolutionary mechanism that helps us to survive. And the more we feel the sadness, the stronger those connections are to everyone who has ever suffered. This gives us a spiritual sense of the world which might really make life feel worth living." ~(Source: Counseling Resource)
To quote psychologist Dorothy Rowe: ‘If you never feel sad, it is because you have never become attached to someone (or something), and that is a very lonely way to be.’ Perhaps another way of putting it would be: please hurt. That’s counter-cultural to everything we know and maybe that’s why it works.

I hate my girly parts sometimes. And during this time of the month, it hates me back twice as much. It makes me feel that I am not myself. But if it’s a reminder that, hey, I’m a real person. That I’m alive and moved by sentiment, then I guess it’s okay.

Sad is a science.

Bring on the waterworks.

(original post by princesskumod)

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